From Global to Local: UN Day & Halloween

...does Halloween count as local?

Harare International School Celebrating UN Day 2010

This was our first UN Day at the school. A big part of it is a giant food festival with parents from all corners of the world setting up festive tables with favorite dishes from their country.

As a member of the PTO, I volunteered to take on an additional little project for the elementary school. There had been complaints...can't we do anything that is related to the UN or is somewhat more educational than experiencing food? Thus, the UN passport project was born.

It's funny how a little idea can turn into a month-long endeavor involving hundreds of people. We made fake  little  passports with each page being a flag of a country represented at the school.

We set up immigration stations with middle and high school volunteers who represented a few countries each and had flags waving. The kids had to find the flag that matched the one in their book and answer three questions: 1) on which continent is this country? 2) what language do they speak there? and 3) what is a typical dish you could eat there? Either they got the answers themselves or they got a little help from the immigration officer. Then they got a stamp in their passport and moved on to the next flag in another area of the world/campus. There were different passports with different flags, so there were nearly 25 different countries. After visiting 6 countries and getting 6 stamps, they came back to passport control for a prize which was a small gift from the embassies like flag pins or origami kits or whatever.

And every child got a t-shirt...it was pretty cool, if a tad bit chaotic. More than 150 kids participated, and they really seemed to enjoy it which was frankly luck...who knows what kids older than mine like these days?!

In addition to the food and passport game, there was a flag ceremony in the auditorium where a flag from every country represented at the school was carried in by a student from that country who then went up to the mic and said "hello" in their native tongue. Not sure why, but it is strangely moving, especially for the adults who were fighting back tears. Me, too. Funny.

Halloween was celebrated on that same day. We went straight from school to a friend's house for a quick beer and to change into costumes before heading to the Marine's House. Luckily, we were invited by our "buddy family" (Sheryl & Vaughn) to the marine's halloween party which they throw for kids of embassy staff. Yes, the marines. They provide security for some of the embassy staff.

(One of Miles and Eliza's friends from school is the daughter of the head marine. And yes, I do find him a wee bit intimidating. One of his marines bar-tending at the party said he'd almost rather be in Afghanistan where you are ready for danger. "Here, people get complacent and let their guard down." "Right, can I have another beer?" Sheesh.) 

The marine house brought back memories of fraternity houses, except this one had zebra skins and POW banners in addition to the foosball table where Miles spent most of his time until the contortionist/magician showed up. Talk about cringe-worthy. Nothing like a bunch of small children watching a man pretend to make another kid (his assistant) swallow a large object that then magically popped out his rear. (Don't try this at home!)

BabiesBabiesBabies

Last week, a good friend of mine had her third baby, a girl after two boys. She had a c-section, and I was the only one standing there outside the nursery window to witness the baby's first examination, her first bath, her first stretch and yawn and accidental touch to her own face and flinch at the feeling. I stood there for 45 minutes while my friend with her husband was in the surgery, getting finished up.

I have found it awkward being at this stage in my life where I'm pretty sure I'm not getting pregnant again, yet I'm surrounded by people who keep having babies. Maybe it's their first (my sister) or second or third (relatives and friends), but for me it's like going back in time. 

Since having children, my life has been dictated by their presence. Especially moving around like we do, I often find friends who not only have children but have children the same age as my children. That's a pretty narrow margin of interest. But it works perfectly. So doing the whole baby thing again would be a radical shift.

Children change so quickly that my concerns and interests also have short life spans. I don't think about breast-feeding, sleep schedules or the best strategy for introducing solids anymore. I am at a loss when my sister asks for advice. I can hardly remember what happened only a couple of years ago because it's so other-worldly. 

I can understand now why in Khartoum my good friend was simultaneously happy for me and bummed when I got pregnant. With three of her own, she was over it. And for much of the next two years, her sporty/party-pal was going to be a little less fun and a lot less available. Such is the personal life alteration that comes with having babies.

Seeing a newly born human being last week, I couldn't help but be moved - moved right out of my baby-free comfort zone. I have only been in Amman for 14 months, yet in that time I met her parents, discussed with them their thoughts on having a third child, saw my friend go through 38 weeks of pregnancy, and have now witnessed this baby's first moments. It does seem incredible that it can happen just like that. You don't know what you're going to get, you don't know about your own health and survival of a pregnancy and delivery...there are enormous risks. Yet, there she is.

My lack of primal urge to go there again is a mystery to me. That's what it comes down to. Of course, one weighs pros and cons and considers risk and sacrifices and the lot, but with me all rationale falls aside to the inexplicable green light. 

With other women I know, there is a strongly felt revelation: I am finished with this. I feel whole. Or I am not finished with this. There is another baby who wants to be born. 

It is rude to talk about this openly (and please forgive me, I hope I'm not insulting anyone) because there are many who don't have a choice. But there are also many like myself in this privileged modern dilemma. There's no familial or religious duty or economic need to have more. A third child wouldn't throw us over the poverty line. Except for the cost of an additional plane ticket, life abroad with 3 as opposed to 2 isn't too much of a hardship since house help is affordable. It is do-able - an excess of liberty to design one's own fate, as well as one's family and of course, the unborn. Ah, the "hardship" of empowerment...and one must admit, personal luck. Who am I (with my husband, of course) to make such an enormous decision?

Is it enough that I simply do not feel the undeniable desire to have another baby? Can I feel comfortable with my personal pleasure at not being pregnant or tied to a breast-feeding little one anymore?

The problem is that there is no powerful or true red light (except the limits of my biological clock, but there is adoption of needy children...). I can't say exactly that I feel it is truly and finally over. I'm by nature open to what may come, including my own gut feeling. In the meantime, I will quietly enjoy my 2 and celebrate (albeit from a safe distance) the courage and conviction of my friends and family who boldly go forward.

How to Organize a Rebellion at Your Child's School

Both my children started at a preschool last fall that we were very excited about. There were some problems in the beginning and some unhappy parents. Too many kids in too small a space. There were other issues that arose, too, and there appeared to be no forum to address these issues except in one on one meetings with the director.

Parents are at a disadvantage. There are no parent meetings, no newsletters or website. We have no shared understanding of what is going on at the school, not even in our children's classes, and so cannot together address any issue. 

The director is a self-proclaimed "non-believer" in the importance of parent involvement. (She told us this at the school's first ever parents meeting, organized only for one class due to the on-going pressure by its uppity parents.) She refuses to read any literature on the matter that I offered to share because she believes she can find other research that refutes the claim that parent involvement has a positive impact on children. And I had only suggested volunteering and a newsletter, not a School Community Council.

There was a good showing at the parent meeting, although most of the people there were not Jordanian. I have a feeling that is somehow related to the fact that almost every day the King of Jordan is on the front page of The Jordan Times. "Trust me!" the director tells us. "Don't worry!" What's the point in wasting everyone's time with all this involvement, participation and communication?

With my stealth community organizing experience, I have been approaching all this with a firm belief that we can make change if we tread carefully, involve the necessary players and start with a win-win project. It looks like that'll be the newsletter. My specialty: propaganda.